The Chanukah I’m hoping for
Rabbi Neil A. Tow©
The Chanukah I’m hoping for this year is a Chanukah that speaks for itself, a Chanukah that requires little more than menorahs, candles, blessings and songs to communicate its message. I’m hoping for a Chanukah with dreidel spinning and chocolate coins for the game.
Not to be the Grinch who stole Chanukah…
I advocate for a gift-less Chanukah.
The gift is the holiday itself, a chance to gather in the warmth of family and community during the cold months.
Do we not have sufficient opportunities to give gifts to children and to one another at birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, retirements, starting a new job, Bar Mitzvahs, Namings, Weddings, etc.?
If I had to choose a Jewish holiday for gift giving it would probably be Shavuot in the spring time. After all, Shavuot has little of its own particular ritual and ceremony, but it is the celebration that God gave us the Torah at Sinai – the greatest, most timeless, gift to the People that we have received, next to our freedom from Egypt. On the day that celebrates that gift, what an amazing message it would be to say to children and to each other that we give over gifts to remember and extend the happiness of that defining moment in the history of our people.
True, Chanukah is also a defining moment, a new holiday, in the history of our people, but one that Judah Maccabee devised on his own, something unprecedented in Jewish history. A holiday that happens to coincide with the Christmas season and therefore applies social pressure to the kids, to everyone.
The Chanukah I’m hoping for is somewhat unrealistic though, and I feel it is only honest to admit that reality. It is similar to the way that I do not think I will be able to rescind, even in my own community, the puzzling restrictions against legumes and rice for Passover, or the way that the high holidays have become more “important” than the weekly Shabbat that defines Jewish existence from the earliest days of Creation according to the Torah story.
Nonetheless, I will try to begin to translate the feelings, the hopes, the worldview that I feel about Chanukah into practice in an evolving way, a way that appreciates how our customs and practices do move in cycles, and wax and wane like the moon as it marks the time.
Chanukah itself is the gift: An eight day opportunity to appreciate courage and sacrifice, to re-enter the childhood world of wonder that we too often forget, and to share the best of our hearts, hopes, and dreams that may feel muted in the icy winds and early darkness of winter.
What is the Chanukah that you hope for this year?
And sometimes the best time to give a gift could be the average, routine day when we want to surprise those we love, or when we want to say 'thank you' in a special way.
ReplyDeleteWhat other occasions are good for gifts?
And, I'm indebted to my Bar Mitzvah student Daniel Beldner who pointed out that when Jacob meets up with Esau again, he doesn't pay any attention to the gifts Jacob sent to him. Their reunion is the gift in and of itself.
I agree that we should give gifts on regular days, like rainy day or a gloomy day. I always give something to my niece and nephew to make them feel special. The other good occasion is returning from a trip or a vacation. As for Chanukah gift giving - I always got "Chanukah gelt" when I was a child, so I will continue the tradition :)
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