The evening of November 4, 1995 did not reveal its tragic
conclusion immediately after Yigal Amir fired shots at Prime Minister Yitzhak
Rabin z”l.
As one observer recalled, at first there was an idea that
the bullets fired had been blanks, and then news over the radio that Rabin had
been shot, and then news that in fact he had been assassinated came over the
radio waves. The people on the buses
heading away from the peace rally held their breath, waiting and listening, for
updates.
Waiting is one of the most difficult things for human beings
to do. In our parsha, we find Eliezer,
servant to Abraham, who is on a mission to find a wife for Isaac, and twice he
must wait and see whether his mission will be successful. Twice he holds his breath to see whether God
will grant him success.
The first time, he watches while Rivkah, Rebecca, proceeds
to draw water for his associates and his camels. Will she finish providing water and fulfill
the requirement Eliezer has set for identifying the right person for Isaac?
The second time, Rebecca already has proven her worth in the
watering test, and Eliezer waits for Rebecca’s family to agree that she may go
– they even say ‘Let her stay with us for a few days first…’ At that point, he cannot wait any longer and
requests leave to go.
The first time he waits on his own accord, to see if his own
plan will be successful.
The second time he waits to see if others will support and
help him move forward on his journey.
These two types of waiting are so common and frequent for
us, and in most cases much ado about nothing.
In many cases, the waiting is not urgent. We hope for a response soon, but we can live
without it for days, months, even years in extreme cases.
But we also know the pain and the challenge of waiting when
we do need an urgent response, when the waiting itself weighs heavy on our
hearts, when our minds spin with speculation on what may or may not happen.
When Rebecca’s family says, “Let her stay with us a few
days…’, the word ‘yamim’ here is the word for ‘a few days’, most commentaries
read it not as a few days but as a year, a whole year as the Torah uses the
same word in describing how within a year someone who sells a home in a walled
city may redeem the home from the buyer.
Here, it’s a waiting game, Eliezer cannot wait, he has a
long trek ahead, and Rebecca’s family feels compelled to wait before they send
her off.
And so we see an example here of how the emotional impact of
waiting crushes us between the world we know and the world as it may soon be,
between our expectations and what life serves up to us in reality – at times as
a result of what we do, and do not do, and at times by chance.
This happens when we are waiting for a diagnosis, waiting
for test results, for a notice whether our son daughter niece or nephew got
into his or her first choice college.
Each of these moments, though, has a conclusion, possibly an
unpleasant conclusion, but at least some closure, however upsetting and awful
the closure may be.
The deeper human challenge is how do we wait when we don’t
know the outcome, when it’s not clear that anything’s changing anytime soon,
when we’re living through evolution rather than revolution?
In reflecting on the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin z”l,
many have written about whether the Oslo peace process was evolutionary or
revolutionary, and would itever have produced a lasting settlement even if
Rabin had lived.
After the fact speculation on this does not help move us
closer to resolution. We could say the
same types of things looking backwards, wondering what Judaism today would be
if the status quo had persisted in 19th century Germany and not
produced Orthodoxy, Conservative, and Reform Judaisms.
We seek savlanut, meaning patience, as an antidote to our
impulsiveness, to impulsiveness that prevents us from thoughtfulness – which takes
time and patience. One reason we leave
the Garden of Eden is things are just too easy and available to us there. That environment enables our impulsiveness,
our search for immediate gratification.
Being patient and pursuing evolutionary change has been all
the more difficult of late. This week, two
Jews were attacked in Crown Heights. And
stabbing attacks continue in Israel.
If our inclination is to throw up our hands at the ongoing
tragic and horrible events of the past weeks, we should remember how a wise
person said, “If you can finish your life’s work in a lifetime, you’re vision
and dreams are not broad and ambitious enough.”
God gave us today to live, today to make an impact on the
world – tomorrow is a mystery, a gift that we hope to receive.
As we learn in the Mishnah, Rabbi Tarfon said: The day is short, the work is great, the workers are
lazy, the reward is great, and the Master of the house presses."
We
can be patient and plan carefully, but then we charge forward! There is no time to waste. Yitzhak Rabin went boldly out into the square
to rally for peace, and before that to fight for Israel’s existence. We should go out boldly, too, unlike those
who preached hate against Rabin and acted on that hate – we choose to act
differently, bringing the message of the prayers we are about to recite like
bonfires into the world – sim shalom tovah u’vrachah, Bring peace, goodness,
and blessing into the world, chen va’chesed ve’rachamim, sweetness,
lovingkindness, and compassion; let there be tzedakah u’vrachah, justice and
blessing, rachamim ve’chayim, thoughtfulness and a renewed emphasis on the
value of life.
Amen.
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